I don’t really have that awesome moves to call myself a dancer. I don’t even have that perfect flawless skin to really consider myself a model. Nor have I an exceptional convincing skill to call myself a sales executive. But what makes it look like I’m just having a pretty good busy life in Singapore?
Well, I’ve been receiving awesome comments from friends and how they wish to be in my shoe. It’s good to know how people can recognize the improvements I’ve worked hard for myself. But some people think it’s just an easy road. To be honest, it’s been a super difficult journey especially for a shy & non-sociable person like me. Yes, I am an introvert person. I am better when I am alone. I easily get intimidated with a crowd of people that I cannot perform well. But reality demands me to go out and socialize. I remember I used to get bullied in school for being a slow-learner. Have you ever had that feeling when you are like the dumbest student among your section of students? You feel like you just don’t belong. But you know from yourself that you can do better yet shyness is eating you alive and that you just chose to stay in the corner, keep quiet and let people wrongly think about you. I thought it should be best if my parents just enrolled me for home study. But maybe they aren’t even aware about it in the first place. And even if they knew, I think dealing with the problem is always a good idea.Now, you can see me being very busy with a lot of events – from my sales job exhibitions, dancing & modelling. But to be honest, EVERY SINGLE DAY IS A STRUGGLE. If you are really with me, you can just see me in a corner most of the time, having my own world but internally struggling to push myself to strike good conversation to people. During rehearsals, choreographers or trainers usually call my attention (I even really get scolded, like badly scolded until humiliated) for not smiling, for lacking confidence/enthusiasm or whatever you call it (my colleagues can attest to this). But then, I always understand that these people are just helping to bring out the best in me. A million thanks to these people!But then again, what makes my life so busy right now like I’m just having a pretty good life in Singapore?It’s because no matter how introverted I am or how harsh the criticisms and rejections the outside world can be, I continue to go out there. I know who I am (esp. my weaknesses), what I want and what I need to do to achieve it.
I always hate working in Sales (yes, even until now). It’s a tough job and I don’t like hitting targets. But I need a living and this is what’s immediately available so I need to adopt. I also never dreamed of becoming a model nor a dancer. But if I’ll stay at home and indulge with my introvert feelings, I’ll sure get crazy thinking about how I miss my family back home or recalling and crying about how bad my life experiences were.
I am a work in progress and I thank all the people who gave me these significant chances to improve myself. Thanks Mama, Kuya and Paul for being always being there for me. Thank you Bok Ralph from The Filipino Dance Club Singapore (FDCSG) for the opportunities. Thanks to Ms. Eileen Yap from Singapore Fashion Runway & Ms. Angelina Francisca of ANJE for being such and inspiration. Truly, SFR & ANJE is a very significant stepping stone to me. Thank you Sir AJ and Sir Dhave for allowing to be part of Dream Top Model Season 3 family.
Now, Dream Top Model Season 3 is fast approaching, it’s technically either a win or lose situation. But to me, being a part of the finalist is already a very big and meaningful achievement. I think I have pushed myself far enough to give myself a good hug. I gained more friends too. The only thing that’s left for me to do is be there on 26th Feb 2017, step on that Kallang Theatre stage, feel the audiences’ gaze, enjoy myself and give everyone a good show.
Sorry, I have wrote a lot here. I have put a lot of thoughts to this & thanks for taking the plunge to read through
Bottom line is, I don’t really have any special talents. I’m just an ordinary introvert who is passionately curious about the outside world. Pls don’t get me wrong. Introvert is not a bad thing. If you are an introvert and you are happy about it then I am more than happy for u. But if your dreams is out there, then get out from your comfort zone and explore! Don’t let your weaknesses and criticisms get into the way. Seize every opportunity! It wont be easy, but it’s gonna be WORTH IT!!!
Category: The Author's Rift
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